My mindgrapes go all limp and squishy when science journalists start explaining how genetic testing works, but according to the Times you can now have your kid tested to see if he's the next dolphinboy by swabbing his cheek and sending the ish with 150 bucks to some company in Colorado. It all hinges on a gene called ACTN3 and fast-twitch muscles and such. Some are crying "Snake Oil!" but others are pointing out that when China gets a Michael Phelps we will have like only two gold medals and won't that be embarrassing? Anyway, sports-loving
parents will probably all do this, won't they, and you don't want to be the only one in the bleachers with no genome sequence anecdotes to contribute.
Am I the only one who thinks "bullshit!" when Joy Behar tells some reporter that she is BFF with Christian conservative smirker Elizabeth Hasselbeck? That once the hens are done pecking at the Hot Topics and the cameras are off, they just swap funny stories about kids and plan their weekends? No way. No way is that true. Does anyone out there actually have a Magneto/Professor X style friendship?
Damn these complicated ladyparts! Always making more humans and then gunking up, or whatever makes health insurance more expensive for women than it is for men. Yes, that's right--if you get health insurance from an employer, you wouldn't have noticed, 'cause of civil rights laws--but if you buy individual insurance, your femi-premiums are 30-50% higher than a dude's. Well, that's what you get for being born with the bodyparts that ensure humanity's survival. If only we hadn't used our high-maintenance wombs to grow insurance company executives who find this double-standard conscionable!
Some genius with a new baby daughter got his wife to sign off on a BLANK birth certificate and then sneakily filled in "Sarah McCain Palin" for the babe's name. Tennessee McCain supporter (and father of three) Mark Ciptak wanted to draw attention to the campaign, and nothing draws attention to a candidate like having a supporter give his baby a ridiculous stunt name. Lord, what are they teaching in Tennessee schools?
According to this article yesterday, Al Qaida supports McCain in the 2008 elections. Seems they like his commitment to the war. They're hoping that commitment will likely exhaust our military and economy. Well, there's an endorsement to be proud of. I can hear the McCain camp spin now, "Yay! See? Our foreign policy is so good, even terrorists support us!" And they thought Obama had terrorists on his side. McCain's got the big dogs. "In yo' face, Obama!"
