Rough Stuff
My two youngest boys have an eight year age gap. That doesn't seem to stop them from playing together pretty well. Lately, they've been playing Wrestlemania where the 5er attacks the 13er with all sorts of "moves" and the older kid loves it. At first, I was a little worried that someone would get hurt, that it would be taken too far. But the show is usually on the living room carpet, there's no flying off ropes or furniture, no major holds or smashes. Secretly, I've been a little glad to see the 5er's gumption, because he's been a little prone to crying at school when someone buds in front of him in line. But lately, through the laughter, I can sense a bit of frustration from the 5er, and a few times I've seen him really hit his brother with anger. So now I'm freaked that I've warped him for life and he's going to go into kindergarten next year and elbow-smash the first kid that steals his green crayon. Where's the line? How do I teach him to stand up for himself without unleashing the Hulk?
I have three brothers, and I can assure you that they, and all other boys I knew growing up had a constant need to establish and confirm their place in the pecking order. This extends not only to brothers, but to all boys, it seems. You probably don't need to worry about your 5er elbow smashing another kid, but at the same time, perhaps Dad (or big bro) has to explain a couple of things: TV wrestling isn't real, but fighting is. People get really hurt in fights, and there are other consequences, too.
My son got suspended Day One of first grade for fighting with his best friend. It didn't put a total end to his rough-housing, but I think he got the message.
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