GoMom

I figure that I have one wedding left to attend for my friends. Mainly because I have one, spectacular, single friend left. And I truly thought that this wedding would happen in the near future, because she's been with a guy that seemed to fit like peanut butter to our group's jelly. I even told my hair stylist about it, so that we might be able to plan a color/cut accordingly.

But the wedding which was never even on, is off. They broke up.

I found myself nearly speechless as I sat on her couch, trying to comfort. Mainly because we could both feel the fear ... the fear of being thirty-seven and starting over yet again.

And then I really messed up. I convinced her to come to a low-key dinner at our friend's house, to get her out of her house and hopefully get her mind off of things. Needless to say, I vastly overestimated the fun-factor of spending the evening with two happy couples as we watched our children run about. It was after the better half of a margarita that I realized she was standing away from us, against the wall, looking like someone had slapped her in the face.

But we just kept chattering and talking about stupid crap and trying hopefully to make her laugh or feel something other than sadness. And she bolted, as sad if not sadder.

I want her to get past the sad, to get to the mad part where we can yell and call the guy an ass-hat and list all his faults with glowing superiority. I want her to realize that any guy who can't grip tightly to her isn't worth a glance. I want her to laugh and feel good about life and see the beginnings, not the endings.

And I want it to happen fast, because I don't want to feel shamefully relieved for what I have.